the a little more positive tamara

well it's been forever.. alot has happened in 6 months... me and troy broke up.. and then got back together.. long story.. anyway i graduated high school and am on my way to holmes community college in the fall... super.. uh.. my whole family and friends are a little messed up.. rather not talk about it.. any who.. have no idea what to say.. so....bye..

Currently Listening White Turns Blue By Maria Mena, Maria Mena sorry see related

lately life has been so complicated.. yuo think i'd be happy...i have soemone in my life who loves me... and great friends... a mom who loves me.... i have it all.. but i'm just so down... does troy really love me??? one night he told me that before he met me he was planning on getting back with his ex after she had her baby (no it's not his)  until he met me.. and it made me feel really special that he loves me enough to do that... but... he still talks about her to me.. i don't do that to him... it makes me want to cry and now that he has told me that i have this constant feel that he's going to hurt me...that' he'll just break my heart... leave me for someone else...he tells me how i'm so great.. but what am i compared to her????? i just want to have him in my life... but i'm just....unhappy...filled with doubt... well i guess that's enough of the self pity for now...

goodbye and goodnight...

Tamara

Currently Listening One Word By Kelly Osbourne see related

sorry it's been so long old friend... just been kinda busy... i love this song that i'm listening to... uh... hmmm almost outta school... gotta go christmas shopping after i get outta school tomorrow.. this has been the crappest week ever...i've gotten to where i'm so ready to be outta school for the year.. i got my senior pictures yesterday...they suck.. my sister in law is gonna do some differnt shots for me...cause... i really don't like em... anyways.. i'm rockin the brown hair now as you can tell from the profile pic... it's a good change for me... only i feel like i fade into the background now... oh well... uhhh i guess that'll be all for now... SOMEBODY LEAVE ME A COMMENT!!! ANYONE!!!

love,

Tamara

Currently Listening Marvelous Things By Eisley see related

i glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings... oh what marvelous things...

well.... another year of my life...almost over... and what do i have to show for it???  i got my green machine and my cd collection..that's about it......hahaha  kidding... troy is FINALLY done with gin season..which means maybe he'll stop being such a big grumpy... maybe... he's so funny.. he's the only person i know that could eat mexican everyday!!!  i've decided to stop dwelling so much on the past...its a waste... i can't just seperate myself from everyone else.... i've got to start being a little more positive... if you don't think about bad things maybe they won't occur.... right now i'm tapin my foot to some ashlee simpson...i'm a loooooser......i didn't steal your boyfriend...whoa whao whoa ha! ok...sorry...anywho....i need some dang comments.... i feel like a big ol loser..... anyways all my homie who i am sure are reading this i love you....peace out.......

Yama lama ding dong